it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
