Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize