Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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