I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize