Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
