we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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