Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
