see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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