worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
