In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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