Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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