We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he puts the penis in happiness.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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