you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
