I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
