She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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