Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
