dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
