dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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