I like my sex mixed with concussions.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just cropdusted the office
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize