then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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