It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
