So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize