I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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