Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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