I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
