You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
