Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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