Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
