he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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