I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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