I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
