He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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