i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
