in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
