She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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