i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
