Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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