last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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