is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
