Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
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and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.