So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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