It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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