I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
