the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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