After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
