I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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