I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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