Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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