Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
