I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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