so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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