i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
