One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My dick has a subreddit
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
