Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize