Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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