Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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