I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
