You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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