their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
