I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
