i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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