Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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