Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
